My but it has been a long time since I vented. I mean...I do to some extent via diary, facebook, emails and verbally to others on a daily basis. But there are things that I just can't say even there. Or if I do...no one seems to care.
I have been trying so hard to keep myself occupied and upbeat. Most of the time I find myself sitting in front of the computer hoping and praying that someone will talk to me. Don't get me wrong, I do talk to people but I need more. I crave more. I am a social person and crave interaction with others. I sit here some days and not one person will talk to me. Not one. I make comments on their statements. I send person mesages. I even break down and will send a HI via chat only for that person to suddenly become offline. I am lonely. I try to do my school and try to do things to keep me active both physically and mentally. But I need to talk to people. I barely get that even when anyone is home. Roomie can't talk...it would interfer with TV. Hubby won't talk...well...he does but not about shit we need to discuss or should discuss. Even when we do on those rare occasions...it ends up being all talk and nothing else.
Half the time when there is a conversation going on about anything anyway...my voice is not heard. I am only interupted when I do attempt.
This is also day 2 without my blood pressure, cholerstrol and water pills. I have talked to my pharmisist and they know of nothing or nowhere for me to obtain freebies. I mean...BP are $80 a month, and the other 2 would be about $40 more. It can't be afforded right now. So, I research and find a few herbs, vitamins and suppliements I should start talking that could aide in my blood pressure. All much cheapier than the pills themselves would be. I also research a bit and find that more of a vegaritain diet would be good for me. However I didn't even get a complete sentence out regarding when hubby told me..."We can't afford for you to do that or go vegartian." Guess I don't amount to much at all!!
So...again just some mindless stuff.
